I don’t know what it is today, but it took a lot of caffeine to get me going this morning. It could be the rain. It could be the realization that we might have lost a real NFL love story with all the alleged Russini-Vrabel stuff.
It could be pure exhaustion from last week's claim from Ray J that he's slept with 12,500 women. That number is outrageous and the headline alone, no matter how ridiculous it is, tires me out.
I'm not even going to try to do the math or take a deep dive into how he arrives at that number. I'm going to ignore how insane it is and store that knowledge of Ray J's claim as though it's a fact.
True Romance is a weekly column that goes wherever the romance takes it. (Getty)
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We have to keep things moving. It's Thursday, I'm caffeinated up to my eyeballs, and currently ignoring several messages. It's the perfect setting for the latest True Romance.
We have a bachelorette trip cheating story that somehow turns on the Maid of Honor.
We're going to look at a sugar daddy with money troubles and mood killers during foreplay. But the real treat this week comes from Reno Ruth, who sets me straight. She has a story of True Romance to share.
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My best friend fired me as the maid of honor
The maid of honor and bride's best friend of 7 years didn’t end up attending the wedding after a bachelorette trip to Nashville. As she describes it, the bride was engaged to an awful man and was chasing a certain "rich" lifestyle.
The couple preparing to walk down the aisle met on a dating app, and he "love bombed" her right away. It was love at first sight. The first sight of money that her friend's now-husband had flashed, that is.
She was now set "to chase the traditional dream of perfect life, wife, and kids at 30," the fired maid of honor wrote on Reddit.
As part of her duties as the maid of honor, she set everything up for the bachelorette trip. She invited her close friends, a close friend of the groom and the groom's sister.
The bride on a bachelorette trip to Nashville ended up hooking up with an attractive stranger, then blaming the Maid of Honor for allowing it to happen. (Getty)
"At first, J (the groom) was hesitant about her going on this bachelorette as he’s extremely insecure, but she managed to convince him to let her go. I, on the other hand, managed to convince the group to cover the travel expenses for the Bride," she explained.
The bride-to-be, during the festivities, started saying things like she was only with her fiancé for his money and that she was not attracted to him. She tossed her engagement ring into her purse, told people they were on a "girls trip," then proceeded to enjoy herself.
Some may conclude that she enjoyed herself a little too much. The best friend admitted that she could have stopped her, but didn’t. Not when she acted like it was a girls trip and not when she popped off her ring.
Then she found the future bride at the bar with an attractive stranger. One thing led to another and when the other ladies called it a night, she ended up going to the attractive stranger's hotel.
"I stayed with the bride to make sure she got home safe," she wrote. "Instead, she propositioned me to a threesome with this stranger, and while I declined, I did follow her to the hotel, and waited in the lobby while she did the deed."
The next day, the group went back out and the groom's friend started to get suspicious when the attractive stranger showed up again. The bride's panic about what had gone on during the trip didn’t set in until they were heading back home.
The best friend gave her two options. She can tell the groom what happened and cancel the wedding, or she can take the infidelity to her grave with her and carry on as if nothing happened.
The bride chose a third option. She told her future husband most of the story, enough for him to get mad and kick her out for a period of time, and placed the blame on the best friend, claiming she was a "bad influence."
The couple manages to smooth things over and kick the maid of honor out of the wedding. They end up tying the knot and plan to live happily ever after without the bride's best friend in their life.
Talk about going out with a bang before getting married. Now you might find this surprising, but I'm on the bride's side here. She can’t have a best friend around who tells her after a wild trip that there's only two options.
She needs someone by her side willing to do serious brainstorming. I don’t blame her for pushing the best friend under the bus.
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A sugar daddy with money problems
On paper, a sugar daddy with money problems would appear to be an issue. But lucky for this young lady, the game of life doesn’t play out on paper.
Will it become an issue down the road at some point? I'm sure it will, but those are problems for another day. This sugar daddy isn’t stopping his spending.
She's been casually dating the older, wealthy man (maybe not as wealthy as he once was) for a year. She says that she genuinely likes him and wouldn’t be dating him if that wasn’t the case. The gifts, trips, fancy meals, and everything are apparently a bonus.
A sugar daddy with money problems isn’t letting anything to do with his finances slow him down. (Getty)
"I found out recently that he made some poor business decisions and is actually deeply in debt and on the verge of bankruptcy," she wrote to Slate.
"I told him that he can stop spending so much money on me, but he insisted that our relationship helps him take his mind off the major stressors in his life. He wants things to continue as usual and for me to not worry about his financial situation at all."
Can we give this guy a round of applause? It's not smart. It's more than likely going to make it more difficult for him to climb out of the hole he's dug for himself, and he's head down, full steam ahead, like nothing has changed.
She's feeling guilty for allowing him to continue to spoil her when she knows he's got some money problems, but I don’t hear any plans for issuing an ultimatum.
This is love. If she can ignore his reckless spending and pretend like everything is just fine, she might be the one.
What instantly kills mood during foreplay?
This week one of the hot topics in the cesspool of Reddit was mood killers when things are just starting to heat up. You have the classics like having the wrong name called out and there are some truly bizarre ones with body parts being used as radio dials. Here are some ways to kill the mood:
- On my wedding day my wife who admittedly had a few glasses of champagne blurted out James. That's not my name.
- Their kid asking who ate all their fruit snacks (it was me).
- Using the nipples as radio dials while saying, " Come in Berlin, come in..." to the belly button. Apparently that's a thing called "endplay"...
- Finishing
- Forgetting my robe and wizard cap.
- Talking about exes
- Laughing with me is ok, sex sometimes has weird sound or people slip or any number of weird things. Laughing at me, means we are done and I'm putting my pants on and heading out.
- When they randomly say "don't forget to like, comment, and subscribe "
- Our foreplay was ruined last night by the dog jumping on the bed and making "I'm gonna throw up" noises. Rushed him outside and he did nothing.
- when they decide that immediately going at the tempo of a jackhammer is a great idea.
- she said, "You can always tell the guys that were breastfed."
- Bad communication. If someone is not present, not responsive, or clearly not paying attention, the mood disappears instantly.
- when I stuck two fingers in her mouth and I forgot, I had a bandage on a cut on one of those two fingers
- When it’s just going on for too long. DON’T get me wrong, I love that my Husband takes his time, but it sometimes gets to the point of, "ok babe, I’m ready, let’s go!"
- Asking about my car’s extended warranty.
- If foreplay started while watching a show together and they continue watching the show
True really true romance
- Reno Ruth writes:
Hi there. As you are on Fox News I’m hoping that you’re thinking person.
Do you really want to know true romance? My husband and I will have been married 52 years 1st of June. We have been here for each other through many tough times, including some life-threatening, through thick and through thin, through times when we had no money to times when we could afford exactly what we wanted.
We met when we were not quite 20, dated without sex and married two years later. That’s true romance. It’s waking up in the morning and knowing that somebody is there who has your back no matter what,is your safe place in the world, and who wants the very best for you and will sacrifice their own interests to help you get what you want. That’s true romance, True romance is seeing him go off on a three week motorcycle trip because you trust him totally and you know he would never cheat on you. I can trust him completely with my very life, with my heart and with my body.
Try talking about some of those things for a change! Show the world what real true romance is!
Happily married,
Reno Ruth
SeanJo
First off, thanks for overestimating me. It means a lot.
All joking aside, I appreciate you reaching out and sharing your story of "real true romance." Congratulations on almost 52 years of marriage.
Obviously, this column normally dives into what you may call the more absurd side of romance, but stories from the other side are always welcome. Thanks for sharing yours, Reno Ruth. Here's to another 52 years.
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That's all I have this week. I'll see everyone again next Thursday. If you're feeling inspired by Reno Ruth to share your own story of True Romance, please do so. You can reach out, anonymously if you prefer, at [email protected]. Also, go follow along on Twitter and on Facebook. The DMs are always open.
Sean Joseph is a writer for OutKick.
