Susan Lucci was ‘lost’ after losing husband of 53 years, feared she’d never act again

Susan Lucci wasn’t sure she could "go on" after the loss of her husband of more than five decades.

Helmut Huber, an Austrian-born TV producer and classically trained chef, died in 2022 at age 84, one month after suffering a stroke. In her new book, "La Lucci," the "All My Children" star reflects on her grief and her journey to rebuild her life.

The actress, 79, told Fox News Digital she struggled to find her footing alone for the first time since she was 22. She and Huber were married in 1969.

JAY LENO REJECTS HOLLYWOOD PRESSURE TO ‘GET A GIRLFRIEND’ AS HE STAYS DEVOTED TO WIFE WITH DEMENTIA

Helmut Huber, Susan Lucci's husband of 53 years, passed away on March 28, 2022. He was 84. (John Lamparski/Getty Images)

"There’s talk of hope, and the only thing I hoped for was that he would come walking back through the door," said Lucci. "And of course, that couldn’t happen — and it didn’t happen. But I didn’t know if I could navigate the world without him. I didn’t know if I could even stand up without him or put one foot in front of the other."

"I didn’t think I could go on," she admitted. "I was lost. This has been a whole journey. When Helmut passed away, I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t even remember what I was doing before then. I didn’t think about it. I didn’t care. I didn’t think I would even step foot on a stage or in front of a camera again."

WATCH: SUSAN LUCCI RECALLS HER ‘WIDOW MAKER’ HEART ATTACK SCARE: ‘I PROBABLY WOULDN’T HAVE GOTTEN UP’

Lucci married Huber after only eight months of dating, and together they raised two children — daughter Liza, 50, and son Andreas, 45. After Huber's death, Lucci spent months in isolation, canceling public appearances — an unexpected turn for the actress best known for portraying the fearless Erica Kane.

Susan Lucci's book, "La Lucci," is available now. (Blackstone Publishing, Inc.)

"It was not like me at all," she recalled. "But I couldn’t do it. I am shy, but I’ve never shied away from living life to the fullest. At that time, I really was lost. I have always been a happy person for as long as I can remember. How could I find that part of me again?"

Looking back, Lucci said faith was "the saving grace for me." She turned to prayer during her days and nights of feeling hopeless.

Helmut Huber was a celebrated chef. (Susan Lucci Personal Archive)

"I didn’t realize faith would save me," she said. "I had lunch with the fabulous Monsignor Jim Vlaun, who came to the hospital and said prayers with my son and me. He gave my husband his last rites. He officiated all of my husband’s services. He was always such a big, jolly presence and I needed that. Looking back, I couldn’t believe that my husband wasn’t going to recover, that I had to say the word ‘funeral.’"

CLICK HERE TO SIGN UP FOR THE ENTERTAINMENT NEWSLETTER

Susan Lucci was 22 years old when she married Helmut Huber. They dated for eight months. (Susan Lucci Personal Archive)

"About eight weeks after the funeral, I asked Monsignor Vlaun to join me for lunch," said Lucci. "He did. I asked him, ‘Do you really believe in the afterlife?’ And, of course, without batting an eyelash, he said, 'Yes, of course I do. That’s God’s promise to us.’ And I said, 'But what’s it like? Is Helmut going to turn into some sort of ether? Because all I want to do is put my arms around him.'"

"Monsignor Vlaun said, ‘You will be able to,’" said Lucci, fighting back tears. "'That’s the promise. You will know them, and they shall know you.’"

Susan Lucci wondered if she would find the strength to perform and face an audience again. (Susan Lucci Personal Archive)

"His words had an impression on me. And many of our conversations just made me trust in God. And I never wanted to thumb my nose at the gift of life. I realized that even though my husband was gone, I am still here. I was given this amazing gift of life. I prayed to God for guidance. I prayed that I did my best with this gift of life."

Helmut Huber and Susan Lucci attend The American Heart Association's Go Red for Women Red Dress Collection 2020 at Hammerstein Ballroom on Feb. 5, 2020, in New York City. (Cindy Ord/Getty Images for American Heart Association)

In the midst of devastating loss, the star said she never became angry with God.

"That’s one of the steps that they tell you, that it’s part of grief," she said. "I was not over the loss of my husband. But somehow, anger did not come in. I realized that it was God’s divine plan. It took me a while to realize that, but I wasn’t angry. I felt blessed that Helmut came into my life, and we built a wonderful life together."

Helmut Huber and Susan Lucci pose at the opening night of "King Kong" on Broadway at The Broadway Theatre on Nov. 8, 2018, in New York City.  (Bruce Glikas/WireImage/Getty Images)

For the first time, Lucci began tackling things they once did together — like renovating their home — on her own. The project, while daunting, helped her realize she would be OK. She also found herself smiling and even laughing with friends again.

LIKE WHAT YOU’RE READING? CLICK HERE FOR MORE ENTERTAINMENT NEWS

Susan Lucci and Helmut Huber after she was honored with a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame in 2005. (Jesse Grant/WireImage for Much & House PR)

"I remember I was having a conversation with a woman who seemed full of life and very joyful," said Lucci. "But it came out during the course of the evening that she had lost her twin sister and, several years before, her baby daughter. How do you recover from losing your child? So I asked her, 'You seemed so filled with joy. How do you do it? How have you gotten to this place?'"

"She said, 'At a certain point, I just didn’t want to be sad all the time. So I chose to be happy,’" Lucci continued. "That made such an impression on me — that I even had a choice."

On Feb. 7, 2005, in celebration of "All My Children's" 35th anniversary, the cast appeared in a one-night show at the legendary Town Hall on West 43rd Street in New York City to support Broadway Cares/Equity Fights AIDS. (Susan Lucci Personal Archive)

Though it can still be painful, Lucci finds joy in remembering the life she shared with Huber — memories that have deepened her appreciation for the new chapter she’s building today.

Helmut Huber, born in October 1937, became an American citizen in January 1994. (Susan Lucci Personal Archive)

"Helmut was very decisive about wanting to marry me, and very early on," she laughed. "He wasn’t pressuring me. He was just trying to convince me in many ways. That was just one of the things I loved about him."

"He was so decisive, so unafraid of putting his feelings out there and being authentic," she shared. "He was always confident. I remember one night, my father said to my mother, ‘If Susan keeps seeing this man, he’s going to make her marry him.’ And it was just like that. I thought this was a good idea."

Susan Lucci (2nd left) arrives with her husband Helmut Huber, daughter Liza, and son Andreas, for a Soap Opera Hall of Fame dinner, date unknown. (Richard Corkery/NY Daily News Archive via Getty Images)

"I thought he was wonderful," she said. "I was falling in love with him. Then I was in love with him. But I fell even more deeply in love with him over the years we were married."

CLICK HERE TO GET THE FOX NEWS APP

Susan Lucci told Fox News Digital she's found news reasons to smile and laugh again. (Susan Lucci Personal Archive)

Today, Lucci looks ahead with hope as she steps into the next chapter of her life.

"I’ve experienced love and loss, just like anyone else," Lucci said. "These are very human experiences. I want to let people in on my story in the hope that they know they’re not alone. Sometimes, it helps to share your story — it connects us. I want to be part of that."

Susan Lucci told Fox News Digital "you can choose to be happy again." (Susan Lucci Personal Archive)

When asked what she misses most about Huber, Lucci didn’t hesitate: "Everything."

Helmut Huber spoke several languages in his lifetime. He improved his English by watching John Wayne and Humphrey Bogart films. (Susan Lucci Personal Archive)

"I will always miss him," she said, her voice breaking. "You don’t move on — you learn to move forward."